Thursday 12:00
Friday 18:38

I promised this a year ago.

Triggers

So, I really like The West Wing (Aaron Sorkin is my favorite television writer). It's not quite at my Law & Order level of obsession, but I've watched the whole run twice since 2016 (it's a good antidote to Trump).

There's an episode in season 2 (s02e10) called Noël (special guest appearance by Yo-Yo Ma). At the end of the first season, the President gets shot. Also hit is his aide, Josh Lyman, but all survive. Several weeks later, around Christmas, Josh starts losing his cool. He gets absurdly irritable to the point where he even yells at the President, and punches a window, cutting his hand. Leo notices that Josh is losing it and calls in a psychiatrist who specializes in trauma (great role played by Alan Arkin). He instantly realizes that Josh is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Josh is reliving the shooting instead of moving past it. His "trigger" in this case started with a brass quintet playing Christmas carols in the White House lobby. Later, watching Yo-Yo Ma, he starts to freak out. His brain subconsciously connected music to sirens, which associated with the shooting, and caused him to break down a little. For gunshot victims, it's usually a car backfiring or some other sudden noise that triggers them but for Josh, it's music.

Stick a pin in that for now.

I like this attitude (also, I like potato skins). I don't know if this is exactly the appropriate response, but, to my knowledge, there's no charity fighting sexist comments on Yelp. My friend Jon posts a lot of things on Facebook like this. He's what some would call a "social justice warrior," but I mean that in a mostly good way. As a white cis male (like myself), some of his white knighting is a little off, but he means well. We often have spirited online discussions, because sometimes I find his brand of liberalism too far left (his support of antifa particularly troubles me), or because I just like to play devil's advocate. Anyway, in posting this, he put a little content warning at the top "CW: mention of rape."

Now, I'm not a trauma specialist. (From the armchair, I have experienced trauma, and I have experienced stress, but I'm fairly sure I have never suffered from PTSD.) But I can still understand how a depiction, or even a description of a rape could be traumatic for someone who has been the victim of one. But just the word? And in this context? The act or suggestion of rape isn't even involved! There was a story about a law school student who claimed that her professor saying the word "rape" in her criminal law class was traumatizing. In criminal law class! As in the West Wing story, you don't always know what could trigger you, but warping your reality to the point that word must not exist in your world is absurd

Mental healthcare is far behind where it ought to be, and for once, it's not an exclusively American problem. PTSD is real, and obviously medical professionals can help. But even absent that, the solution can't be to lock yourself out from anything that might remotely remind you of your trauma. You need to be able to remember it without reliving it. Not all trauma leads to PTSD. Even if one does, it can be temporary even without professional help, but not if you don't deal with it. Limiting yourself to "safe spaces" to the exclusion of others only internalizes your trauma more. As I said, the Facebook post isn't even about rape (misleading CW). But even if it were (say, if the comment online was rape-y and the restaurant guy changed his menu for that) isn't that a positive story that would be uplifting to a victim of rape?

I'm not saying safe spaces shouldn't exist, but you can't demand someone else change their space to make it safe for you. You can't bear to talk about rape? Don't go to law school.

Previously, on The West Wing:

Josh is concerned about his diagnosis.

"So that's going to be my reaction every time I hear music?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because... we get better."

Tuesday 10:22
Wednesday 8:16

Zoomed through Wednesday. I got the theme (It's a pretty clever one. One long vertical answer, CROSS DRESSING, crossed 5 other long clues which contained some form of salad dressing, i.e The Italian Job, Hail Caesar, etc.) early and all five theme answers were simple after that, filled with no other crosses. I didn't start particularly fast, though. On a clue for "Blue," I spent far too long looking at ER_TI_ before getting the (in retrospect, obvious) answer. Real pros just see that letter strong and don't even bother with the clue. Nothing else is even a word (You specifically need the R, though. EXOTIC and EROTIC would both fit otherwise).

I guess that's an okay number of parentheticals but I can go deeper. It's interesting to me, because at least as far as I can remember having a writing style, this has been part of it. Even in my journal-keeping days, you can find nested parentheses. My penchant for asides gave my blog its name. That's why I was particularly gobsmacked by Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace when I first encountered it (1999-2000). The book is a behemoth, clocking in at 981 pages (I actually read this in college, which is retarded considering all the other required reading I was supposed to do). But oh wait, there are nearly a hundred more pages in smaller text. The book is littered with 388 endnotes, found in the back (you need two bookmarks while reading) Some of those notes are several pages long themselves and have their own footnotes (in even smaller text at the bottom of the page). This, truly, is the epitome of parenthetical writing. I sought out a lot more of his writing after that. Some of his essays go even further, with boxes and arrows like a flowchart, pointing you away from the main text to an aside. This is awesome! This guy writes the way I want to, he's hailed as a genius!

And then he fucking killed himself.

Tuesday 12:49

So, this is my ranking of the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe. I've seen most of these movies 3+ times, but Captain Marvel and Endgame only once.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier
The Avengers: Endgame
Captain America: Civil War
The Avengers: Infinity War
The Avengers
Iron Man
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Guardians of the Galaxy

Black Panther

The Avengers: Age of Ultron

Thor: Ragnarok

Doctor Strange

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

Ant-Man

Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain Marvel

Thor

Iron Man 3

The Incredible Hulk

Iron Man 2

Thor: The Dark World

Those clump a lot in the middle, and the top 4 are all pretty close. Endgame might get the top spot upon further viewing, and Captain Marvel might move up too.

Bonus Fox's X-Men Universe ranking:

X2: X-Men United

Logan

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Deadpool

X-Men

X-Men: First Class

Deadpool 2

The Wolverine

X-Men: Apocalypse

X-Men: The Last Stand

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Those titles are a bit much, since they don't really bother with numbers. It's impressive that they've managed to knit the various casts and timelines into a semi-coherent narrative (although you kinda have to ignore a lot of the Origins movie, particularly the parts about this Wade Wilson guy). Hopefully, Dark Phoenix is good, since as I said, I think that's the end of the road for this iteration. Fan theory: Bruce Banner and Tony Stark using the gauntlet caused a massive radiation spike across the world (they mention gamma radiation is involved, which is why Banner survives). This activates many X-genes, and suddenly mutants everywhere. I'm not sure they could get away with that, honestly, but there are a lot of people who don't want to let the current MCU go away, but want their mutants too.

Wednesday 8:39

Filling the grid took 8:39. The "full" solve took longer. The gimmick within the puzzle was state capital anagrams, and it's not my strongest suit. It took a few minutes to get most of them, but I finally had to Wikipedia a list to remind me of Lansing, Michigan (anagram IN SLANG).

Avengers: Endgame

Despite my other geeky tendencies, I was never a comic book geek. Sure, everyone knows Superman and Batman and Spider-Man, maybe a few X-Men, but you either followed them in the comics or not. My Saturday morning cartoons leaned more towards Smurfs and Transformers, not X-Men, so I was never really part of that. I liked the 1989 Batman movie and the first two sequels. They don't age well but I'm allowed to like that stuff when I'm 11. Childhood friend Dan Callaway had some archived classic Batman, and the Dark Knight Returns, so I had some exposure. I bought some comics around the death of Superman, but quit when it just got back to Superman as usual.

But other media got me. The first X-Men movie released in 2000. Smallville premiered in 2001, then the first Sam Raimi Spider-Man in 2002. Batman Begins came in 2005, and suddenly it was all superhero movies all the time. The Marvel Cinematic Universe started in 2008 and it's really changed the game for what a franchise could be. I started to watch YouTube videos that summarized big comic books sagas like Civil War, Planet Hulk, The Infinity War (all of these vary rather wildly from their movie adaptations, but the snap at the end of Infinity War did not come as a surprise). DC, on the other hand, high from Christopher Nolan's masterful Batman films, produced a number of terrible movies (Wonder Woman excepted; that movie was great) in an attempt to create their own universe. It's amazing how consistent they are at getting everything wrong while squandering their most bankable characters.

Marvel properties that other studios own have a spotty history, too. While Fox's handling of X-Men and Deadpool have gone mostly well (although the notable exceptions are really bad), their versions of the Fantastic Four have been disastrous. After Spider-Man 2, a high water mark for superhero movies at the time, Sony tanked it with a memorably bad Spider-Man 3 and a weak reboot attempt. Thankfully, they gave creative control to Marvel for Homecoming, and did a really great job with Into the Spider-Verse, possibly the greatest comic book movie that feels like a comic book, if that makes any sense.

While Marvel Studios has had some misses in their 21-movie-long journey to this point, it's crazy how well things have gone regardless. Thor 2 is probably the worst of the bunch but it's still something like a C, and the majority are well above that mark. Their casting has constantly been phenomenal, and they don't have trouble hiring big names like Glenn Close and Cate Blanchett to play roles. Visual styles between the various locales make each hero's identity unique, yet they still cohere nicely when they collide. The overall tone has been great. At heart, this is still a bunch of fantasy magic. You can't take it all so seriously all the time, even when the story starts out with half your friends being dead. Most of the jokes land pretty well and fit the characters. As for the score, well, Alan Silvestri is no John Williams, but you can't have it all.

Endgame is three hours long, but it sure doesn't feel like it. The story moves pretty much non-stop. Everyone assumed time travel was going to be involved (after all, there are already trailers for a Spider-Man sequel, who was dust at the end of Infinity War.), so it's good they established that as the central plot early on instead of some surprise tactic at the end. I knew Steve Rogers would wield Mjolnir at some point (this is from the comics), but it was still a joy to see. Captain Marvel was used primarily as deus ex machina, which is kinda lazy, but she's so powerful, it's hard for her to be anything else without overshadowing the rest of the heroes. Even then, she can't take down Thanos on her own, and every hero gets a shot at trying.

Aside

I read an article yesterday about Marvel and its supposed issue with female heroes. As in, there aren't enough of them in their movies, or they are relegated to sidekick/assistant status. Perhaps a somewhat valid complaint, though it's not exactly limited to Marvel. They then go on to complain about a certain scene in the final fight. After Peter Parker hands off the Gauntlet to Carol Danvers, he comments it will be hard for her to get it all the way to the van. Suddenly Wanda, Okoye, Wasp, and Pepper Potts as Rescue show up "she has help." The article said that all the girls showing up there was pure pandering, specifically complaining that these female characters had hardly any other lines in the movie. Well, of course not! Three of them had been dead for most of the time, and the other was very reluctant to get involved at all (Rescue showing up in the first place was some top-notch fan service, though).

End Aside

If I wanted to get super-persnickety, there's this: Thanos needed some ancient dwarf master craftsman with a forge powered by a star to make a gauntlet that could harness the stones, yet Tony Stark can make two in a CAVE! With a box of SCRAPS! in his lab.

I don't know where Marvel is going to go from here, but this movie is the perfect cap to Phase 3 of their plan for global domination. Disney acquiring Fox could mean X-Men joining the MCU, but it would be weird to introduce them now (where have they been all this time?) They may need to wait for the current franchises to wind down so they can reboot them simultaneously. I'm not sure there's a definitive plan for the X-Men after Dark Phoenix. I think it's very impressive that Fox has managed to plausibly put all of its X-Men movies into the same timeline, but you have to end it sometime. I think at least Jennifer Lawrence is done after this movie (I miss evil Mystique), and the absence of a Wolverine is starting to get noticeable.

Whew. Great movie. I may see it again, though I passed the no pee challenge the first time,

Wednesday 6:37

That's a pretty ridiculous time for a Wednesday, possibly a personal best (other xword bloggers agree this was super-easy).

So I've been dutifully grinding MTG Arena for the past several months, mostly breaking even on drafts and getting my constructed rating up. I'm just on the edge of platinum with green Gruul, but every time I get just one match away, I lose. It's not like levels mean a whole ton, just a few packs and coins (not even gems) at the end of the season. But if I finish platinum, I start the next season at gold, which is good, I guess.

War of the Spark looks quite interesting, and sponsored streamers have early access on Arena. It doesn't seem like the set adds anything interesting to my deck, nor any horrible new threats (How many people remember that Thrash//Threat can target planeswalkers? (I'm quite sure I've forgotten this more than once when they've played Teferi or something)).

The reason all this is relevant is that I'm planning on playing in a MCQ ("Pro Tour" has been rebranded as "Mythic Championship") on May 11, shortly after War of the Spark will become legal. for some players of lesser income like me, that can mean card availability problems, but more importantly, much less lead time to test new ideas. Bolas's Citadel seems ripe for abuse, but who can discover how to do so in just a week? The prerelease is this weekend, and so is the current Championship! They're essentially drafting a totally new set at the same time as us. (The constructed portion is Modern, and won't include any WAR cards, though I think a few more might be playable in the format.)

So of course I should just stick with Gruul. There are things I'd like to experiment with, but I'm still learning new things with Gruul, and I play it all the time. To try something new at this point is insane, right? Frank Karsten posted a G/W hexproof deck with Paradise Druid and Vine Mare to go with Blanchwood Armor and On Serra's Wings. It already has almost all the mono-green cards I'm playing already. It goes even bigger with Carnage Tyrant and Ghalta! I LOVE that idea. It has zero removal, and considerably less turn 3 payoff (Steel-Leaf is the only 3-drop) and yet... I sure do like Arena. I've been hoarding wild cards, so I want to test this HARD as soon as possible.

UPDATE: The deck is good but not great. It has ridiculous game against mono-red, as one might expect, but given that Esper plays Mortify main deck and white decks can target enchantments too, it loses some edge. Vine Mare is good on its own against Esper, but so is my current 4-drop of Nullhide Ferox. It's fun, but I'm interested in winning.

Monday (April 1) 6:00
Tuesday 7:54
Wednesday 13:08

I played in a tabletop Standard tournament of more than 3 rounds in well over a year. I played Zvi Gruul and went 3-1. Some would say that's pretty good and I should be happy.

They're wrong of course.

Now, I don't currently have The Fire™ but I have what might be called Sufficient Heat™. I'm always in it to win it, regardless of stakes. I'm not always super cutthroat, though. I reminded an opponent that a creature he was blocking had trample and let him rethink blocks (he was very close to dead regardless so he ended up blocking anyway, going to 3 instead of 1, so no biggie). The Fire™ is a wonderful thing to have, and it's not that hard to get.

Living in New York, I always felt like I had something of an inside track, whether from Mike Flores & Co. or just a bunch of solid players concentrated in one place. Zvi's deck is good, but it's two weeks old now, and it was probably published up to two weeks after it was invented. The deck it destroys, and was designed partially in response to, Mono-blue tempo, has fallen out of favor, and other decks that have risen in popularity weren't covered in his deck guide. The metagame moves so fast. You can always tweak some sideboard cards or something, but if something really breaks, I feel like I'll miss it.

Like, a bunch of years ago, I was playing in a Kamigawa Block Constructed PTQ. I had been playing an aggressive monoblack deck ("Black Hand"). It was an ok deck, but it felt Tier 2. It was pretty good against the most popular deck, mono white aggro ("White Hand"). Yet both decks had a hard time with the format's Gifts Ungiven engine deck (I don't remember exactly what the deck did; I believe Hana Kami was involved). Playing the night before the tournament, I ran into my friend Julian also playing Black Hand, but his build had Sink Into Takenuma. I thought this card was hideous. Turns out it trounced the Gifts deck like a rag doll. I copied Julian's deck and suddenly, my deck was good. I saw other black decks the next day,  but Julian and I were the only ones to make top 8 (I eventually lost in the semifinals to Mike Flores, playing the format's ultimate metagame deck, Critical Mass). Sink Into Takenuma wasn't Julian's tech, but being in that environment, whatever genius thought it up, it filtered into Neutral Ground, and I was there to acquire it.

Things don't feel like that anymore. The last piece of tech I felt like I had that few people thought of was Terrifying Presence in Innistrad Block Constructed Bant Aggro (Ethereal Armor). Exactly one US tournament had this as its format, a GP in Sacramento. It was fantastic in the mirror, as so many games just came down to haymaker turns, and that one fog turn could swing it. Turns out more than a few people playing the deck had it. I even lost a game to it once (I did make my first day 2, and almost finished in the money. One of my losses on day 2 was to the eventual champion). The format was so little-discussed, being a one weekend event, yet even this little tidbit was no secret.

Maybe there is no tech anymore. People have always complained about how too many matches come down to pairings, how it's just rock-paper-scissors. But of course that's not true. Why do top players keep winning big events? It feels more like skill than tech, though. In a way, that's better. In other ways, worse.

Sunday 29:07

Hm, well, a new year. Nothing much to report. Tried some kratom yesterday. It didn't do much for me, but it's helping an alcoholic friend quit drinking, so good for him (he's been on the wagon before, though, several times). I went to a Magic GP (they made some asinine decisions to call them Magic Fests now, but nobody does) this weekend. Sold a bunch of stuff to complete a Standard deck. Most of the cards are reasonable investments that will hold value like Teferi, which is already seeing play in Modern.

I'm really into MTG Arena, but that's a whole thing that deserves more time than I'm willing to spend right now. Just wanted to talk a bit into the void.